I would like to share that I am changing my name from Ranjot Singh Skywalker to Cary Aaron Skywalker Knott.

For those of you who have known me for a while, you know this is not the first time I have gone through a name change. I would like to discuss my reasoning for this publicly, even though it is a very personal subject for me. I feel it may help folks get to know me and my experience a bit better and possibly help others be able to hold some more compassion for other folks who have gone through, or will go through, some kind of a name change as well.

There are several reasons I have decided to change my name. I will explore a few below including my experience as a transgender individual, becoming more aware of cultural sensitivities & honoring the connection to my family.

Transgender Experience

Some of you may know this already and some of you may not, but I am a transgender individual. I was born female and transitioned to male roughly 16 years ago. I currently identify with he/him or they/them pronouns.

Name changing is something that a lot of trans/non-binary/genderqueer folks go through as we are exploring, working to own and be respected for who we truly are. We all have our own journey with it and it can look very different for each person. Sometimes it's a very obvious and clear cut decision and sometimes it can be much more confusing and feel like a struggle.

For me it was a strange, yet liberating experience the first time I changed my name. I wanted a name that sounded more masculine to help me embody my new gender expression. I went back and forth for months trying to figure it out and finally settled on Corey, (without much internal enthusiasm) probably because it sounded similar to my birth name but it also felt sufficiently non-gender descript. It had no real meaning outside of that for me though. I was fairly content with Corey for about 7 years until the next step approached...

Cultural Sensitivity

In the beginning, when I first adopted this next name it felt right because I was going through a level of spiritual awakening and it was the first time a name truly meant something to me. Ranjot is translated to "Bringer of Light" and Singh means "Lion of God".

I was training as a Kundalini Yoga Instructor when I received this name and this training was opening me up to profound levels of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual awareness and growth. One of the things I learned about was sound current and how using our voice to chant, sing and speak or hearing others chant, sing or speak can have positive effects throughout our entire system. Learning about how sound current works and hearing that if I adopted this spiritual name (Ranjot Singh) that was given to me, and spoke it aloud referring to myself on a regular basis and heard others speaking this name to me, I would more easily be able to embody the vibration of what the name means. It has been my passion for a long time to assist others in discovering & expanding their own internal light and to connect with the light of universal consciousness, as well as fostering this for myself, so I was honored to receive this name. I felt it was a perfect fit to assist me in continuing my life's journey and purpose.

I think Ranjot Singh is a beautiful name and can tell that it has assisted me throughout the years. However, I have been increasingly more uncomfortable with calling myself by a name that belongs to a culture that I do not belong to. I greatly appreciate the teachings and am so thankful that they have been shared with me. I will continue to hold them in my heart and practice them throughout my life. I have given this a lot of thought and am now feeling that at this point, it does not feel respectful, as a white person, to have Ranjot Singh as my name. Which leads me to make another choice...

Family

I am somewhat surprised by myself as to what first name I have chosen to move forward with. It feels a bit uncomfortable to start saying out loud and hearing others call me this again, but also very much like coming home to a deeper connection and exploration within myself and my family, while still bringing through what I have learned about myself along the way.

Cary is an adaptation of my birth name in a more gender neutral form, but still carries the same meanings to it, including "pure, pleasant stream, free man, the dark one, movement". Not sure if I identify with being pure or the dark one, but definitely interesting to look at, haha! It feels right to start to get to know the name I was born with in a new exploratory way and begin to embrace it with love and appreciation.

I have added Aaron as my middle name because the meaning is similar to Ranjot "Light Bringer" but it's roots are from a culture I am actually connected with, instead of one I have only learned from.

I have kept Skywalker as part of my last name (Maybe someday I'll be comfortable sharing publicly why this is important to me, but no it's not because of Star Wars, though the jokes can be fun! ), along with reincorporating the family last name I was born with, Knott. I didn't like it when I was younger because people made fun of it a lot, but that is neither here nor there. I don't live physically close to anyone in my family of origin anymore and I miss them all dearly. I feel it is important to have “official” connection with them at this point in my life for many reasons. My Mom, Dad, Sister and Niece are all kind, compassionate, loving individuals and I am proud to be a part of this family and happy to share the name with them once again.

Cary Aaron Skywalker Knott... it feels right, but I’m still getting used to it.

Not everyone puts as much emphasis or thought into names as I am within this writing and honestly it's day to day with me as to how important I really feel it is for myself. I find more importance on how I'm showing up in this world and what I'm able to make of this life while I am here. But changing my name is something I have control over, so I will exercise my choice as I see fit.

It sometimes feels a little ridiculous to me that I have changed my name so many times. Then I remember to send my self a bit more compassion and to do my best at letting go of the worry around how others may perceive me for making yet another change.

Throughout this experience, I have been striving to do better for myself & others and to express myself authentically along the way. I want to honor, appreciate and learn from other cultures without disrespecting them. I also want to respect myself, embrace more of who I am, connect with my family of origin & teach myself that how I identify can be a fluid experience and know that that is ok. It's been an emotional, awkward and scary process each time I have gone through a name change & I doubt I'll ever do it again, but it has also been a very humbling, reflective experience full of love.

Thanks for reading 💜,

Cary

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